I’ve spent the past week gathering details for the upcoming wedding reception for Jamie and Curt and baking cakes. Jamie had asked me if I’d make the layered cakes that I’ve made for graduations and birthdays for her party. At the time, I thought, “aw, what’s 10 cakes?” I had forgotten that each cake needs four layers, or 2/9 x 13’s. It’s been a challenge to get them all baked, cut and in the freezer but I did it. Starting Monday, I will start my creations with the goal of being done with them on Thursday. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…

This past week has also been a time to reflect on the past 26 years of living in this house. I woke up one night and stood at the kitchen sink with only the street light providing the glow I needed to see what I was doing. I stood there looking out the window, as I have done so many times, thinking if only these walls could talk. I thought of all the times they’ve seen the quietness of a night interrupted. Interrupted by me while pregnant having to get up and go to the bathroom, with the cry of hungry babies needing fed, with screams from nightmares that needed comforted, with kids needing to crawl into bed with mom and dad, with coughs that needed attention and now with us older folks needing to get up for a random drink of water or use of the bathroom.  It’s always been that street light and its warm glow coming through the window that has helped guide the ones getting up to tend to the interruptions of the night.

Have you ever wished you could go back in time? I don’t know if it’s my age, or the changing season, or too much time on my hands. I’ve thought about how wonderful it would be if when we were born, we were given at least a week of random days that we could go back and hold those babies again, or visit grandparents, or go to a favorite place or smell a comforting smell. Would a week be long enough?

The leaves are falling and a new season is upon us – one that I don’t like so very well. I don’t like the winter and its bleakness and most of all the cold. The only good thing about winter is its necessary to appreciate the spring – the season of new life and hope. I think our lives are a little like seasons. I’m seeing a new season just around the corner. One that I’m not so sure that I’m going to like so very well. That winterish season will show its colors when the last of our four girls graduate and leave the house. The walls will not see the usual activity and chaos that has been here and a part of most of my life. The winter is necessary to appreciate the spring – the colors, the smells, the beauty and the new life. I think it’s the realization that my kids are growing up and moving on that has started these thoughts. I get so caught up with the activities of life and what must happen that I sometimes wonder if I’m enjoying and appreciating each and every day to its fullest. Today will one day be one that I’ll wish I could go back to. Today I feel so much older but one day in the future I’ll think about this day and realize just how young I was. Does this make any sense? I think I probably should get busy and stop thinking about things so hard!

One week from today, friends and family will be starting to come to celebrate and rejoice in Curt and Jamie’s marriage – the beginning of their new life together. A new season is about to come in full view for the two of them – one that they’ll look back on one day and wish they could revisit. Life happens in the blink of an eye and I can only hope that theirs is lived to the fullest! The walls in their house have so much to look forward to!

P.S. the camera caught the typical Jamie I-don’t-know-why-she’s-crying facial expression. Jamie was always whooping on her little sister. But, Jenna took it well and now they’re the best of buddies!