or so I thought…

You know, some days just seem to start out a bit more of a struggle than others. Today was one of those struggle days. Struggle to accept changes that are being thrown at me. Struggle just to get started with what’s on my list of “to do’s”. Just a struggle. I really hate days like this. Mostly because it takes hold of your very soul and seems to try to back you into a corner and not let you out. The tears that have been pushed back for so long seem to flow easily and won’t quit.

Why is it so hard to accept the fact that you’re not quite as tough as you’d like the rest of the world believe you are?

I’m struggling to figure out how to deal with the “new normal” in so many circumstances. Isn’t life supposed to get easier as you get older? Or so I thought. Maybe these struggles are just more feeling sorry for myself. I hope not. I’ve always been one to not allow myself to get to that point. Or so I thought. I think I’ve always tried to look for the positive in most circumstances. Or so I thought. There’s always a reason for circumstances to occur, right?

One day, I’ll probably look back on this day and see why it all happened the way it did…”The Glorious Unfolding“.

It’s the “lasts” that are working on me. The last prom. The last FBLA awards ceremony. The last…the last…the last. It’s hard to focus on what’s to come because it’s unknown. What I’m used to and daily routines are safe. It’s secure. It’s what I love. I know I have lots of new firsts to enjoy and look forward to but right now those aren’t in my thoughts. It’s getting through all of the “lasts” that I’m concerned about.

Yep, one very tiny bathroom for four daughters. They learned how to make it work every day!

Photo credit goes to Taylor.

Photo credit goes to Taylor.

Photo credit goes to Taylor.

Nebraska State FBLA awards ceremony.

She’s headed to Atlanta to compete at Nationals!

This entire group will be going to Nationals. Congrats!!!

Seniors last state conference.

Last conference for both of them. After 33 years, Mr. Shrader is retiring from teaching and FBLA advisor. We were so fortunate to have had him involved with each of the girls!! Thank you, Mr. Shrader, for being a positive influence and mentor!

 Friends since kindergarten.

I just stepped outside to hang some clothes on the clothesline. What I heard has given me hope. I heard the shrill chirping of the wren. She’s back! I can count on her being back the same time of the year. What this has told me is that regardless of what changes occur, regardless of what happens, the world will go on as it should. And I have to trust that God has this next stage of my life figured out for me.

The words of this song mean so much to me right now!